


His best torture

by Itsnotokaysammy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dark, Gen, Hallucifer, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Mark of Cain, Mean Dean Winchester, Not Really Character Death, Sam Hallucinates, Season/Series 10, Self-Hatred, The Author Regrets Nothing, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 22:23:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5945353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsnotokaysammy/pseuds/Itsnotokaysammy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After having million years experience of torture, this was still his best one</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Trigger warning : suicide</p>
            </blockquote>





	His best torture

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry I have no idea what came over me. It's midnight but I just felt the need to write it after thinking about the idea of this story for a few days.

_I wish you'd be the one burning in there right now instead of Charlie._

 

_D_ eans words were racing through Sam's head, haunting him in his sleep and spinning in his ears during the day

_It's just the mark speaking for Dean. It's influencing him._ He tried to tell himself over and over again. Maybe then he'll someday believe it. 

But the truth is, it was Dean- a twisted and cursed Dean, but the real Dean. No Monster. No shapeshifter or Leviathan wearing his face. It was his brother blaming him for the death of their friend.

_The real Dean wouldn't have said that._

No. He wouldn't have said that. But he would have surely thought it.

Dean knew as well as Sam that everyone around him would die sooner or later. Some even more than once. And every time it was Sam's fault. Sometimes Lucifer was also to blame because of the Demon blood running through his vains,  but it was still inside his body and not inside Lucifer's. 

Maybe Sam should have let Dean kill him with the hammer when he was a demon. He knew Dean couldn't be cured. And he couldn't watch his brother destroy himself and kill the people around him. He'd rather die than watch it.

Maybe that was exactly what Dean wanted. It just prove him what a bad person he was. He always knew it and now the people around him could finally see it, too. Now they would finally leave him like everyone before and realize they are so much more worth than surround themselves with Dean Winchester. Dean knew he didn't deserve Sam or Cas or Charlie. Charlie would have peace now in heaven, Cas would realize he's a monster after the mark completely takes over and now that he told Sam he wanted him dead, he would leave, too. Again. Finally. 

* * *

 

Sam was sitting at the kitchen table, doing research about a case, something simple he could handle on his own to shut off his mind, and to avoid Dean for some time. 

It's been a week since Charlies death. He would never admit it but his brother's words still hurt him. Not just last week's spoken ones, but also the ones Demon Dean had said a few months ago about him being just a burden to him. And Sam could still feel Dean looking at him with disgust and hatred. He knew what those looks screamed. 

_Freak._

_Abomination._

_Monster._

''Yes Sammy and you know that's true. Even without the demon blood. You never changed. You know it, Dean knows it, I know it, everyone knows it.'', Lucifer said in his hallucinations, suddenly appearing. Sam never had the heart to tell Dean, but the devil never left. Even after healing him. He just let him sleep. He tried his best not to pay attention to him in public, so Dean wouldn't have to know but he figured he already knew because Sam was screaming the Devil's name at night. Sometimes the whole night.

But right now he was alone. Dean was out. Probably at a bar or in some crappy motel, making out with a girl. So he could talk to the pictures his mind projected as much as he wanted. 

''Shut up and dissappear back to wherever you came from. I don't need your -'' Sam got interrupted when the front door flew open. A slightly angry, drunk big brother stormed in. 

''Who are you talking to,Sam?'' He asked, seeming pissed.  

''Oh..  uh no one.'' The younger one stuttered, not knowing what else to say. ''Hey, I think I found a case. There is a couple that - ''

''I'm so done with you and all your little lies and secrets. You think I don't notice? Well guess what, I did. I thought I made it clear that we need to tell each other about these things. Guess it was just one sided.'' 

Dean walked down the stairs to get to Sam. He waited for an answer but Sam just stared at him. He didn't have an answer. 

''You know what, you can talk to me again when you decided to not keep secrets from me. Until then you can go ahead and talk to your hallucinations. '' the former demon shouted angrily and was on the way to head to his room. 

''Dean... '' Dean turned around and gave Sam a quick glance.

''No Sam. Shut up.'' He turned his back to his brother and went to his room before banging the door shut. 

''Wow, big brother seems pissed you have other friends.'' Came from Lucifer who was leaning against the door frame.

 

This was it. This was all Sam had needed. Now he was alone. 

Kevin died 

Charlie died 

Bobby died

Cas never really liked him

And Dean doesn't want him around. 

He sat back at the table for a moment to consider the idea. A single tear slipped from his eye. Yes. This would it be. He needed relieve. And he would go and get it now. The hunter stood up and went to his room. He sat on his bed after shutting the door quietly. Under his pillow was laying the gun, he kept there in case of an emergency. This was an emergency.

It felt smooth in his risen hand, directed to his head. 

He took a deep breath. 

And then. BANG . 

* * *

 

He woke up, laying on a ground. It wasn't his bed and it wasn't inside the bunker. 

This wasn't hell. 

This wasn't heaven. 

But he was sure he pulled the trigger, so why wasn't he dead? 

Was this purgatory? Did he count as a monster?

He opened his eyes and immediately recognized the familiar surroundIng and the face looking down on him beside him. 

He was in the cage. 

The face belonged to Lucifer. 

''Oh look who woke up from his little dream'', Lucifer smiled evily. 

Sam sat upright in shock and rushed to grab his hand to press onto the scar. But there was no scar left. Confusion was written on his face and the devil let out a loud laugh. The human looked up at the devil.

''No. I got out. Death got me out. This is not happening.'' 

''Oh Sammy, you really thought it was real? Come on, soullessness? Angle tablet ? Marc of Cain? Leviathans? '', Lucifer shook his head and laughed, looking like he just heard the best joke ever, ''You really think Death would care about you and get you out of here ? Well, not that he could...''

Sam looked at him, scared. ''No ..... no... ''

Lucifer smiled, almost empathic and laid a hand on his victim's shoulder ''All the time, I told you this wasn't real. But you never believed me. I always told you how to end it, and now here we are again. I would never lie to you, Sammy. You know that.''

And then Sam started crying. Crying like he never did before, not in his real life and not in the life he thought was real. 

''Everything was pretty detailed, wasn't it? I'm very proud of this, would have thought it was real, too if I was you.''

He expected a response but Sam just sat there crying. And he cried a lot . And Lucifer was in front of him, listening to the never getting quieter sounds coming from the human.

''This is by far my best torture.''

 


End file.
